Coming Clean

This post has been a long time a 'comin, so sit back, and please sit through with me...

All of us can probably describe in detail the "aha!" moment we had when we first discovered blogs. Mine came about right after we had moved to Brazil. I had been writing a blog for our daughter - to keep family and friends abreast of her milestones, but was oblivious to design blogs.
One day, a friend tipped me off to a fabulous interior designer's blog, and I sat and read each and every post. I was so enamored of the concept of sharing a passion for design via the www that I knew I had finally found an adequate outlet for my own design fervor, and had to have a blog of my own.

I started it without any ambition, other than to share - with whoever might read. I had no idea of knowing that my blog, and all those I read, would create this avenue of inspiration and self-discovery.

This bloggy world is a strange and competitive beast, though, and soon I became aware of things like hit counts, original content, quantity and quality of comments.
Now, may I sidetrack for a moment?
I can honestly say I've never been a stalker - even before I knew how gratifying it is to receive reader comments - I've always openly commented. I guess I just wanted to be part of this giant blog party.
To me, reading someone's blog without ever commenting is like ringing their doorbell, and running away before they answer the door.
So, if you're hovering in my shrubbery (so to speak), please come in - say hello every now and then. I know you're out there, and I'd love to meet you.

I'll admit to becoming ensnared in the comparison game, too. Am I as witty, stylish, talented, unique as the next blogstress? Dangerous game that is. And superfluous, too, as I know in my heart the only Beings who I must rank first with are these three... ...and I do.

But, it brings me to this: What is it all for? For me, there must be an end game - a raison d'etre. I can't just keep wishing and dreaming - I must begin doing. If I want to legitimize my aspirations, I need some book cred - so, I'm heading back to school...design school.
Having a lot of education (and educational debt) has certainly given me pause about taking on yet another study program, but I guess it's just been my circuitous path to discovering who I am. I'm not a salesman, I'm not an attorney, and I'm not yet a designer - but I will be.